Every four years, America elects its new drinking buddy. Although
a few party poopers many Americans do care about the issues- lets face it, personality matters most. No one wants to elect someone that they wouldn’t even share a few beers with! Although goddess former First Lady and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton once claimed that “We don’t need to have a beer with the next president,” she’s totally wrong! HERE ARE FOUR REASONS WHY WE SHOULD GET DRUNK WITH ELECT HRC.
1) She’ll pay! Hillary is not even running
yet and her super pac has already raised 1.25 million dollars. Like her spotlight stealing, good for nothing, and philandering husband, HRC earns income through lucrative speaking engagements and book deals. Rumor has it that she earns about 200,000 dollars per speaking engagement and is getting paid 14 million dollars for a book deal. With that kind of money, you don’t need to worry about splitting the tab because mama Hillary has got your back! Hell, you feel like some DOM? Go for it!!!!!!!
2) She can take you to gay bars! Lets be real, gay bars are in and your totally hip friend Hillary can (maybe) get you passed the bouncer! Although at one point she endorsed DOMA and stated that marriage should be reserved “for a man and a woman,”(EWW) the bouncer probably doesn’t even remember that. Ever the politician, Hillary has pulled a 180 and now fully supports gay marriage. COOL! Here’s an inspirational quote- now just read this, have another shot, and forget what I said before.
For those of us who lived through the long years of the civil rights and women’s rights movements, the speed with which more and more people have come to embrace the dignity and equality of LGBT Americans has been breathtaking, and inspiring.
3) She won’t bore you with stories about her kids! Lets be real, aint no one got time to talk about Chelsea. Especially not Hillary!!! #yawn
Thats right Chelsea, BOW DOWN!!!
4) One Word: Pantsuits. No explanation needed.